Can Bookmunchers blow the vuvuzela and other questions

Staring at the bookmunchers for hours running around the chamber in a peudo-random pattern like little submarines in Brownian Motion, has resulted in a few questions floating around inside my head:


1.  Can bookmunchers make squeakly sounds, say when they're eating or having sex?

2.  Do bookmunchers change colour?  For example, does the amount of light affact their colour?

3.  Who would win an extreme fighting duel between a bookmuncher and an ant?

4. Can bookmunchers blow the vuvuzela?

Down with bookmunchers!

Solidarity with student protesters ...

I think the bookmunchers are very sad that we’re moving, and that they’re coming out in force to protest … a bit like the students in London recently .. they should have been hidden in dark damp corners munching their books instead they were out causing havoc.  So into the observation chamber SIX bookmunchers went today, much like a whole bunch of “student protesters” got dumped into jail.  Population of Bookmuncher Observation Chamber: 25

Record!!!

An all-time record … 5 bookmunchers captured in one day.  All 5 were found in the study, cuddling under a book, or basking between pages of a magazine or crouched in the corner of a shelf.  One did get away from me … it ran in the gap between the skirting and the carpet … I spent hours hacking away at the skirting, then the carpet, then the wall to find the darn thing … but no luck.  Have had to prevent my wife from going into the study ever since .. until I can get some chaps out to repair all the damage.  Damn bookmunchers … they’ll pay!  Total BM population now stands at 19.

Bookmuncher Sex

Added a tiny bookmuncher to the chamber.  Stark evidence of the fact that the BMs are reproducing in the library, imagine, they’re having sex on copies of Homer’s The Odyssey and John Masefield’s The Everlasting Mercy.  Shocking!!

Shocking picture of bookmuncher damage ...

This is a sheet of paper that was inserted into a book that I had on my bookshelf ... evidence of the devastating damage that bookmunchers can have.  Strangely the book itself was untouched ... curious ... maybe it was easier to get to the sheet of paper, maybe the paper was more to their taste than the paper used in the book .. or maybe they were repulsed by the contents of the book ...

The Boer War and Bookmunchers

Two BMs found inside “The Boer War” by Thomas Pakenham.  I know they’re here munching my books but it really upsets me when I catch them in action, much like I knew that girls in my high school class was stealing my lunch but got really irritated when I caught one of them with their grubby hands in my bag or worse still saw one of them with their grubby faces munching on my lunch.  BMs clearly have an interest in South African history – Pakenham spent 8 years researching and writing this book and used mainly previously unpublished material, so included some interesting and juicy details … if no-one else enjoyed its juiciness, there is a pair of fattened BMs in the observation chamber who certainly did.  Chamber now has 13 BMs.

Escape from Bookmuncher-land

We’re moving!  Yay!  Also the perfect way to rid myself of bookmunchers forever.  If only I could be sure that I’m not taking any with me …  While packing clothes into boxes this evening I was horrified to find a bookmuncher in between the clothes … gross!  This is the first that I’ve ever seen among my clothes.  The bookmuncher looked very pale compared to the others … maybe the shock of being caught drained the colour from him … J   This catch brings our total population to double figures at 10.  I’m probably transporting a whole colony of the munchers with me … %$”&%!

Five minutes later we found one in our shoe drawer … come on! … how does a muncher get in there and what is he munching?! Number 11 in the chamber.  Am beginning to wonder if we’ll ever see the last of the munchers …