Shocking picture of bookmuncher damage ...

This is a sheet of paper that was inserted into a book that I had on my bookshelf ... evidence of the devastating damage that bookmunchers can have.  Strangely the book itself was untouched ... curious ... maybe it was easier to get to the sheet of paper, maybe the paper was more to their taste than the paper used in the book .. or maybe they were repulsed by the contents of the book ...

The Boer War and Bookmunchers

Two BMs found inside “The Boer War” by Thomas Pakenham.  I know they’re here munching my books but it really upsets me when I catch them in action, much like I knew that girls in my high school class was stealing my lunch but got really irritated when I caught one of them with their grubby hands in my bag or worse still saw one of them with their grubby faces munching on my lunch.  BMs clearly have an interest in South African history – Pakenham spent 8 years researching and writing this book and used mainly previously unpublished material, so included some interesting and juicy details … if no-one else enjoyed its juiciness, there is a pair of fattened BMs in the observation chamber who certainly did.  Chamber now has 13 BMs.

Escape from Bookmuncher-land

We’re moving!  Yay!  Also the perfect way to rid myself of bookmunchers forever.  If only I could be sure that I’m not taking any with me …  While packing clothes into boxes this evening I was horrified to find a bookmuncher in between the clothes … gross!  This is the first that I’ve ever seen among my clothes.  The bookmuncher looked very pale compared to the others … maybe the shock of being caught drained the colour from him … J   This catch brings our total population to double figures at 10.  I’m probably transporting a whole colony of the munchers with me … %$”&%!

Five minutes later we found one in our shoe drawer … come on! … how does a muncher get in there and what is he munching?! Number 11 in the chamber.  Am beginning to wonder if we’ll ever see the last of the munchers … 

A fellow anti-bookmuncher warrior

Have found a fellow anti-bookmuncher warrior ... a far more witty and entertaining account of the war on bookmunchers than I'll ever write.  Its good to know that there are more of us out there. CLICK HERE to read more

The real bookmuncher site!

I must be making a dent in the bookmuncher population … came home after a weekend in Cape Town and found 2 bookmunchers happily roaming around the house.  In slick swift motions, I captured the 2 and took the inhabitants in the observation chamber to 9.

Found a website http://www.bookmunchers.com/ which has nothing to do with bookmunchers at all!  Not worth the visit.

No.7

Dug into an old box of books, files and papers, and what did I find sitting there on top of all the papers … yes, indeed bookmuncher number 7.

I am appealing to our president to declare war on bookmunchers.  I believe that they have WMDs (Weapons of Munching Desctruction) are being trained and accommodated in _______ (insert country that you would like to have random unjustified war declared upon) and therefore gives us ample justification for the attack. 

Oh, to have a bookmuncher's life!

The thing I hate most about bookmunchers is that they get to lie around all day and munch ... Once they find a book, they just wedge themselves into the cover or the pages or the spine and spend all their time sleeping and munching.  That would be like me finding a giant double cheese pizza somewhere hidden, and just spent all my time chewing on it and sleeping ... Oh, to have a bookmuncher's life!

Fascinating to watch

Spent hours watching the bookmunchers today.  It was raining so I couldn't play outside, was too tired to read, too irritated with nonsense on TV, so I had myself an afternoon of bookmuncher watching.  Sometimes they run around frantically but most of the time they are under the paper in the chamber.  They run at all different speeds - there are occasions when they dart about, moving 5 or more body lengths in less than a blink of an eye, quite phenomenal.  They never seem to walk, mostly they move around quickly, nervously, much like a mouse, or simply just stay still.  I wonder what makes them dart around ... fear of something would seem to be the obvios answer but there was nothing in the chamber that could have given them a fright.  Maybe they have periodic little bookmuncher nightmares, where an army of ants are munching on their bodies while they're asleep ...  

The two sheets of paper are well munched - they have eaten holes around the periphery of both sheets.  They can't complain about not being well fed!

I wonder ...
... if they are cannibals ... we'll have to wait for one to keel over to find out.

Have the bookmunchers emigrated?

After a flurry of bookmuncher appearances last week (6 of them now occupy the bookmuncher observation chamber i.e. clear plastic dish), I have not spotted any running around in the house.  Could it be that the captive bookmunchers have somehow alerted the free bookmunchers that there is a supremecist capturing bookmunchers, holding them captive in a compound with possible intention of exterminating the lot?  But how, security here is so tight?  Maybe there is some sort of underground secret communication channel, a Bookmuncher Broadcasting Channel, or BBC, that sends covert messages ...

... or maybe they all buggered off, I mean emigrated ... perhaps to the house of the loud neighbours next door with their smelly cooking, and who constantly leave the rubbish lying around out side their house.  I really think there ought to be a law that allows neighbours to evict another neighbour because of smelly cooking.  But I digress, yes, those bookmunchers think the books are greener on the other side ... but they're in for some nasty surprises!

I thought I heard squeaks coming from the observation chamber ... do bookmunchers make sounds?  I can't handle the tension ... 6 of them, 1 of me ... something's gotta give ...

Observation 2

Observation 2

Bookmunchers lie on their backs to eat – instead of climbing on top of the paper to eat (their mouths are at the underside of their bodies) they remain under the paper and turn on their backs – this might be their usual strange way of eating or it might be a necessity due to the fact that they want to remain hidden while eating or their aversion to light.

Mmmm ... on their backs ...

6 bookmunchers

So, after just 3 days of bookmuncher hunting, I mean, observation, I have 6 bad boys in the observation chamber. 

Just realised that people must think that our house is a disgusting pit of vile insects, vermin and disease-ridden arachnids.  Just for the record, we clean our house top to bottom twice a week, and do not have any other strange intruders.  Bookmunchers are the only tormenters!

And still they come

Added a 3^rd bookmuncher; found in study. There was another one in my study but I had to squash him lest he got away.  One strip of toilet paper already eaten through … typical circular eating pattern evident.  Added a whole sheet of toilet paper.

Bookmunchers are feeling bold today … added bookmuncher number 4 to the bookmuncher observation chamber (BOC); this one, a medium-sized chap was found in the library sitting behind For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway – proof that bookmunchers can climb walls and shelves and that they have good taste in literature.  I couldn’t see any obvious damage to the book.  The 5^th bookmuncher into the BOC, and the third for today was found in the study, just hanging out on the floor … maybe hanging out is an overstatement, it probably went into cardiac arrest when I entered the room and turned on the lights.

Bookmunchers have architectural tendencies.  Opening our new house plans for the first time in a few weeks we found a large pale-looking bookmuncher cuddling up to the south elevation drawing.  Some of the lines were missing thanks to the muncher’s munching … we now have no wall between the guest toilet and the dining room … grrrr!  This one went into the observation chamber slightly more roughly than the others!

Bookmuncher Sightings ...

An enemy sighting ... this is what a bookmuncher looks like.  They are bad, very very bad, worse than people who fold dogears in books or who use smudgy fungers to turn pages.

Observations of Bookmuncher Behaviour

Observation 1

They always hide – either because they do not like light or to avoid danger.  If you put the smallest piece of paper in their area they will conceal themselves under the paper.  I did not know this.

Second Bookmuncher added

Added a 2^nd bookmuncher; found in bathroom.  Fed them strips of toilet paper.  They seem happy in their new home

The inaugural introduction of a bookmuncher

Introduced first bookmuncher to the observation chamber.  Was found in the bathroom.  It ran around aimlessly, much like I’ve done trying to catch them for months.  I remind myself that this is not a Rambo movie where I am out for revenge, rather, its “science” so I resist the urge to step on the bookmuncher.  I will observe …

Launch of Bookmuncher Diaries

My number 1 enemy is the fishmoth.  The reason is simple, they eat books!  They are bookmunchers!  As a bibliophile, they cause me more distress than any other living organism (except the neighbour who spits on the sidewalk).  I’ve used mothballs, Doom and all kinds of sticky strips to kill or trap them but still they come. 

So, following the principle of “get to know your enemy” I decided to pay close attention to them and learn as much as I can, so created an observation chamber, basically a clear square plastic dish, into which I will drop every fishmoth, or bookmuncher, I catch in my house.